Footnotes
Book Birthday
Seven years ago today, I released my first book, Im Still Here, into the world. All day, I sat at home, bouncing my 9 month old with one hand, and scrolling twitter with the other as you all flooded social media with excitement.
My book tour was already planned and my biggest hope was that you all would come hang out with me- and you did! You showed up in Grand Rapids and Atlanta and Austin and Seattle and Chicago. Some of you drove hours to come celebrate with me.
It was a special week, and I couldn't wait to sit down and start writing again.
But a year passed, and I didnt have a new book idea.
Two years after I finished writing I'm Still Here, I still didnt have a new book idea.
By year three I started to wonder if I would ever write another book, or if I needed to rethink my career plans. It was 2020. My book was leaping off shelves. I was proud of it, but I was also embarrassed that so much time had passed, and I still didn't have plans for another.
I watched other authors release a book every year, and felt like I was broken. Another three years passed... 3 years... and finally the book idea started to form in my heart.
As I started writing, I quickly realized I needed to live every one of those years in order to bring you Full of Myself. In the words of my Grandmother, I had to "keep on livin" to be able to write the next book.
I'm Still Here was very much a book about awakenings and beginnings. It was chronicling when I discovered why my parents named me Austin, the first time I was called the n-word, the first time I walked the ground of a plantation. There is not a single story in I'm Still Here that is remarkable or shocking. Whatever power it has lies in the fact that my stories are altogether normal, happening all over the country at any given day or time. But it was important to not just share the stories, but to express how racism challenges the inherent dignity of Black folks and the mental and emotional wherewithal it takes to hold onto our dignity. I'm proud of I'm Still Here, but she was only the start.
I needed time to move from defending my dignity, to basking in it.
And thats why it's so important to me to bring you Full of Myself... because she is a book whose victories were hard won. I had to experience depression and therapy, grief and joy, motherhood and personhood before I could write this one. I had to ask myself about the connection between justice work and joy, antiracism and living, The Work and the rest.
If I'm Still Here is about awakenings, Full of Myself is about stepping into our own light, when and where we can, despite the unjust shenanigans of the world.
I don't know what the journey of Full of Myself will be, but I do know that whatever path she takes will be a result of you- your highlights and underlines, your sharing and borrowing, your interest and interpretations, your support and commitment to being influenced by the stories of Black girls.
I thank you for sticking with me these seven years. I hope I do you proud.
Austin
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